Archive for the ‘Masturbation’ Category
Mutual masturbation may sound like an oxymoron. After all, masturbation is supposed to be something you do by yourself, and if someone else is in the room, isn’t that just called having sex? It’s true, but masturbation is also form of sex, and sharing masturbation with a partner, can be a wonderful way of sharing intimacy, and a great way to share sexual secrets. As with all sex, there’s no one way to do it, but here are some tips to get the mutual masturbation ball rolling.- Why mutual masturbation is a good idea
Because most of us still have some embarrassment about masturbation lets list some benefits of exploring mutual masturbation:- Mutual masturbation is a great way to deal with differing sex drives; you don’t both have to be in the mood at the same time.
- Mutual masturbation helps you learn what your partner likes, and teach your partner what works for you.
- Masturbation is another side of you: sharing talk about masturbation and/or masturbating in your partner’s presence can be a powerful way of sharing a new level of intimacy
- Get comfortable with your own masturbation.
The first step to sharing masturbation with a partner is getting comfortable in your own masturbatory-skin (that’s kind of a gross image, but I think you know what I mean). This may mean educating yourself about masturbation myths, or exploring masturbation more on your own first. If you haven’t thought much about how you masturbate start to give it some thought, notice any patterns or familiar fantasy you use. Ultimately you should be able to show, if not talk with your partner about what feels good, so give your self time to figure it out first. - Wait until the time is right.
Don’t pressure yourself (or accept pressure from a partner) to explore mutual masturbation. While mutual masturbation can be a great was to enhance your sex life, its also very intimate and exposing, and you should only do it when the time is right. If you’re unsure about it, think about what smaller steps you can take to share masturbation with a partner. - Talk about masturbation with your partner.
Before you dive right in, it’s a good idea to talk about masturbation with your partner. Even though most people continue to masturbate while in relationships, many couples hide their masturbation in relationships . The conversation doesn’t need to be serious or heavy, and it could even start as more of a curiosity, sharing stories about when you first masturbated, or how you learned to masturbate. The point is to get masturbation on the table as a topic as a way of gauging both your and your partners comfort with the subject. - Honor the privacy of masturbation.
The first time you masturbate with someone else in the room it may feel weird. Most of us have a way we like to masturbate, and for most of us this includes feeling like we’re alone and have some level of privacy. One way to get over the hump that first time is to keep your eyes closed (or if you don’t want to focus on that, use a blindfold or scarf to cover your eyes). With your eyes closed, as you start to masturbate it can be easier to slip into your comfort zone. For most people this is the easiest way to masturbate in front of a partner the first time. - Take turns.
One of the best things about masturbating in front of your partner is the lessons learned about what turns you on. Each of you should get an opportunity to simply watch the other masturbate without any distractions. The first time you share masturbation, if it feels awkward, you might agree in advance to take turns, one of you starting and masturbating until you’re done, and then the other goes. While simultaneous mutual masturbation can also be fun, letting yourself be the focus of attention can also be both arousing and educational. - Mutual masturbation sex positions.
Once you’re comfortable with mutual masturbation in both theory and practice its time to mix it up and play with different positions and situations. Doing this can enhance the sexual response you get from masturbation, it can also spark different fantasy scenarios, and lead to more learning for your partner. Try mutual masturbation on different pieces of furniture (if you’re always in bed, try it in a chair, in the shower, on the floor) and experiment with different sex positions. - Masturbating together.
Mutual masturbation can also mean masturbating together. From the perspective of spiritual sexuality, the sexual energy built up with masturbation can be shared even if you aren’t physically touching each other. Some people make a game of it, and try to masturbate in synch so they finish together. If you don’t have a lot of time you might compete to see who finishes first. One of the great things about doing this is sharing your feelings as you both lie there satisfied by your own hands, but sharing an intimate moment together. - Masturbating each other.
While most of us might think that a hands-off-each-other approach is what defines masturbation, dictionary definitions of mutual masturbation usually include touching each other and there’s no reason not to blur that line. This might include you focusing on another part of your partner’s body while they masturbate, or you might be right in the center of the action. You might use parts of each others bodies in your own masturbation technique. Or maybe you come in right at the end, to help out with the big finish. - Adding sex toys.
Sex toys can add a lot to both solo and mutual masturbation. For starters, toys remind us that sex is play, and lots of times it’s just meant to be silly fun. Sex toys also provide a kind of strong, consistent stimulation that we can’t create on our own. Introducing sex toys during mutual masturbation can also be a great way to bring sex toys into your partner sex, and it makes room for you showing your partner first how you like to play with sex toys before they take over. - Playing with eye contact and talking.
At the beginning, if you are uncomfortable with masturbating in front of your partner, making a lot of eye contact or talking might seem too intense. But if you find you both enjoy mutual masturbation and get more comfortable with it, adding eye contact and talking can take it to a different level. Gazing into each others eyes during any kind of sex play can be intensely intimate and hot. Sharing sexual fantasies or describing what you’d like to do to or with your partner while they masturbate can be another form of sexual fantasy role play .
are ones that are comfortable, let you do what you want (by yourself or with partners), and don’t take away from your experience of sexual pleasure.This position is the antidote for those who tense up and never move during masturbation. Before you begin, lie on your back, and stretch your arms and legs out as far as possible, making your body into an “X” shape. Try to hold the stretch for ten seconds. Do this a few times before you begin masturbating. As you masturbate try to keep your body stretched out as much as is comfortable, think about it as if you are trying to take up as much space on the bed as you can.
This is a classic position for masturbation. Lie on your back with your feet on your floor and knees bent. Focus on how your hips feel, and the different kinds of hip movements that are comfortable and possible in this position. A variation of this position is to bring your knees close to your chest. This position is all about rocking your hips and opening them up to the energy that is created as you masturbate.
This may seem like an odd position but that is partly the point. Find a comfortable position on your knees, with a pillow underneath them. Try it with your body upright, as if standing on your knees. Be on your knees but leaning back resting on your calves You can even try to masturbate while on your hands and knees (although you’ll probably have at least one hand occupied, so be careful with your balance). The point is to see how masturbation and orgasm feels, in these different positions.
Not everyone will be flexible enough for this masturbation sex position, but you can experiment with variations that will work for you. Lie on your back and bring your legs up so that they are pointing to your head. You can keep your legs together or spread them apart, you can bend your knees or keep them straight. In this position you have access not just to your genitals but also your sides, your behind, and your legs. Put a pillow under your hips
This position is designed to get you playing with gravity. In this position you want to have part of your body on a flat surface (like a bed or the floor) and another part of your body at a different level. So you might lie on your back near a wall with your legs up on the wall. Or try lying on your stomach at the edge of the bed with your waist and legs off the bed. Or masturbate while sitting up completely straight, so that your upper torso is sitting up and your lower body is lying flat.
Masturbation Sex Position – Dancing on the Walls
Lie on your back either on bed or the floor, but right by a wall. Position your waist so that your bum is right by the wall, and raise your legs going straight up the wall (it’s like that “bicycle” exercise position). A variation of this is to keep your bum slightly away from the wall and put your feet flat against the wall with your knees bent (so that when you push with your feet you are moving your body away from the wall). This position is another good one for exploring hip movements, and you can experiment with pushing against the wall with your feet as you masturbate.
Masturbation Sex Position – All Curled Up and Nowhere to Go
This position for masturbation is about drawing your body in on itself. You can curl up on your side, on your back, or on your hands and knees. In each position your genitals are still exposed and it’s easiest to use a sex toy for masturbating in these positions. You may not notice much while masturbating in this position, but once you’ve finished, stretch out, and pay close attention to how your body feels.
Masturbation is considered by many to be the cornerstone of sexual health. Because you get to do it by yourself, on your own terms, it’s probably the best way to learn what turns you on. Women are raised with little information about their genitals, and sex, including masturbation doesn’t come naturally for everyone. Some women orgasm from clitoral stimulation, others enjoy vaginal penetration or G spot stimulation. Remember, there’s no wrong way to masturbate; everyone is different! Below you’ll find some tips on how to masturbate for women.
Here’s How:
1.Get yourself in the mood for masturbation.
Relax as much as you can.Take a warm bath or have a glass of wine. Ensure your privacy: turn off the phone, lock the door, send the kids to a neighbor’s. Find a comfy position. Most women start out lying on their backs, legs bent and spread apart, with feet on the ground. Remove most or all of your clothing.
2.Fantasize for masturbation.
Recall an exciting past sexual encounter or elaborate on a favorite sexual fantasy. If you need a boost, look at a sexy magazine, read an erotic story, or watch an adult video. Allow your mind to explore any images–anything goes as long as it heightens your excitement.
3.Explore all parts of your body.
Run your hands along parts of your body, lingering along areas that are more responsive to touch than others. Look at your genitals in a mirror (especially if you’re unfamiliar with them) and caress the different parts to see what feels especially good. Find and touch your inner and outer labia, your clitoris, your vagina and your perineum.
4.Touch yourself.
Using one or two fingers, rhythmically stroke the different parts of your vulva, paying particular attention to your clitoris and labia. Experiment with different types of pressure, speed and motion. Try placing a finger on either side of the clitoris and stroking up and down, or placing two fingers on the clitoral hood and rubbing in a circular motion.
5.Experiment.
Try different types of touch: stroke, tickle, knead, pinch, or lightly pull your genitals. Try using one or several fingers, the palm of your hand, even your knuckles.
6.Build up excitement.
Learn to hold onto sexual excitement by building up and then reducing or temporarily stopping the stimulation. Pay attention to how your body is responding. It will tell you the particular stroke that feels best and when to pick up or slow down the tempo.
7.Breathe and rock.
Breathe deeply rather than hold your breath. This helps release the sexual energy, rather than fight it. Rock your pelvis as you would during intercourse. Rhythmically clench and release your PC muscle (using a dildo for vaginal penetration can help).
8.Getting over the top.
If your hand gets tired, give yourself a rest, switch hands, or try a vibrator. If you’re on the brink of orgasm, but can’t quite get over the hump, try altering you’re breathing, or focusing on a really hot fantasy. Give yourself extra stimulation: caress your nipples, or try also thrusting your other fingers or a dildo in and out of your vagina.
9.Ride the Wave.
As you begin to orgasm, continue the stimulation through the orgasm. Lighten up on the stimulation during the first extremely sensitive moments but keep it going to enjoy those little pleasurable aftershocks. Your first orgasm may feel like a blip or a blast, but the more you practice, the more variety you will experience.
10.Practice makes for perfect masturbation.
Don’t worry if you don’t come on your first try, keep practicing, or try some of the variations below.
Tips:
1.Vibrators take some of the manual labor out of masturbation by providing direct, intense physical stimulation to the clitoris.
2.Water helps many women learn to masturbate. Lie back with legs spread in a bath with a shower hose and direct the stream of water at your clitoris. Vary the pressure, the pulsation, and the temperature. Alternate methods: slide your butt over the drain so your legs are up in the air and your genitals are up under the tub faucet (rather awkward but do-able), or use Jacuzzi jets.
3.Rub against something–a pillow, the corner of some furniture, a dildo.
4.Dildos can be a pleasurable accompaniment to clitoral masturbation, as they offer the fullness of penetration and can also stimulate the G-Spot.
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