Archive for the ‘Sex Toys 101’ Category
The Bottom Line
- Durable material and construction, long-lasting toy.
- Material is highly malleable and transmits touch well.
- Unbelievably soft and lush feel, retains temperature and can be warmed and cooled.
- Different sleeves offer a nice variety of sensations (from tight to loose and enveloping).
- Simple and smart design is easy to use and keep clean.
- Soft innersleeve available with different internal textures.
- Several styles of opening and colors.
- Available with and without the plastic case.
The Fleshlight was conceived, designed, and is still made, by a family-owned business. What they set out to do was come up with the design to offer men a discreet sex toy but one that actually delivered on its promise, and was built to last. They have succeeded on all counts and have been rewarded by having the best-selling male sex toy on the market.
The true innovation of the Fleshlight is the material. It’s difficult to describe in words but it is both soft and substantial, and has a rich enveloping feeling when it surrounds any part of your body.
Most male sex toys (variously called male masturbators or penis sleeves) rely on intense friction by making the toy much smaller than the penis that goes in it. The Fleshlight offers friction, but the sensation is much more as the material is pliable and accommodating. Because the material is durable and malleable, it allows for one to create a lot of sensation by touching the outside of the Fleshlight while using it.
The different openings or orifices (mouth, vulva, anus, bum, nondescript) don’t differ in feel, only in look. But there is a significant difference in the feeling of the models with dots, ribs, and the narrower models that create more friction.
A few notes on usage: Because the manufacturer did not want to use a toxic finish, the material gets sticky when you wash it. You can dust it with cornstarch after washing (never use talc) but this isn’t necessary. Always use a personal lubricant with the Fleshlight and stick with water based lubricants only.
Personal lubricants are perhaps the greatest unsung sex toy. While it’s true that lubricant can be used to solve a sexual problem, like vaginal dryness, lube is much more than something to use only when you “need” it.
The right personal lubricant can:
- Intensify and enhance sensations (for solo or partner sex)
- Change the way that sex feels
- Help you have sex longer
- Make safer sex safer by reducing the chances that a condom will break
- Eliminate pain associated with intercourse that comes from vaginal dryness
- Be essential for certain kinds of sex play, like using sex toys and exploring anal sex.
Figuring out which is the right one for you can be tricky. Here are some key things to consider when choosing a personal lubricant.
Water Based or Silicone Based Personal Lubricant
Both water based and silicone based lubricants are safe to use with condoms, and many of the products, and all of the ingredients are FDA approved. The main difference between water based and silicone based lubricants are:Water based lubricants:
- Flush out of the body, and off the body easier than silicone
- Are more widely available
- Are available in flavored and warming variations
- Are less expensive
- Contain no water, so they never dry up or evaporate
- Require soap and water to come off the skin
- Do not absorb in the skin
- Are more expensive, but less is required
Functions of Personal Lubricants
Personal lubricants are great to use for all kinds of sex play, including:
- Vaginal penetration
- Anal penetration
- Sex toys
- Masturbation or partner sex
In general, thicker lubricants are better for anal play and with sex toys as they stay on toys better, and may provide extra comfort for anal penetration. For vaginal penetration, the consistency is a personal preference. Men who are looking for a lubricant for masturbation may want an oil based product since it stays slick longer (but is not good for use with condoms or vaginal penetration). Some people mix a long-lasting silicone lubricant with some water-based lubricant to give it a thicker consistency.
Flavored and Warming Personal Lubricants
Flavoring and warming effects don’t improve the function of a lubricant, and some people report that the lubricants with flavor dry up faster than others. If you are concerned about allergic reactions, you should avoid both flavored and warming lubricants. On the other hand, they can be a fun way to add something different to sex play, and a growing number of lubricant companies are adding flavored and warming products (one company also offers a lubricant that has a cooling effect).
A variety of silicone dildos
- Picking a dildo material that works for you
- Deciding what you want to do with your dildo
- Choosing a shape, size, and color of your dildo
As you click through the pages below you’ll see lots of examples of dildos, and get tips on some of the things to consider when choosing a dildo.
Choosing a dildo material: Silicone dildos
Silicone dildos that are made of 100% silicone are the best quality dildos available and are highly recommended if they are in your budget.
Silicone is recommended as a dildo material because:
- silicone is clean, strong, and durable
- silicone is non-porous and can be boiled in water
- silicone retains temperature and transmits vibrations very well
- silicone is available in a wide range of colors, shapes, and sizes
Silicone is an ideal choice if you are concerned about allergies or reacting to toys in any way. You can now get silicone that feels hyper realistic (like cyberskin dildos, but safer, cleaner, and more durable).
The only drawback to silicone dildos is that they are more expensive (generally between $40-$100), and out of reach for many of us.
Also you shouldn’t use silicone based lubricants on silicone dildos, as it may permanently damage your dildo. Water based lubricants are fine to use with silicone dildos.
The only benefit of jelly rubber dildos is that they are inexpensive. If you aren’t sure what size and shape you want buying an eighty dollar silicone dildo can be risky.
But jelly rubber dildos are currently made of inferior quality material, and many of them contain phthalates a chemical that has been linked to health problems in other products and situations. For this reason if you use jelly rubber dildos it is recommended that you always use latex condoms .
You can use water based lubricants and silicone based lubricant with jelly rubber dildos, but you should never use oil based lubricants as they will damage the dildo.
The only reason to choose a cyberskin dildo is for the feel of it. Most cyberskin dildos have a soft outside but firm core, which really can feel like a penis. Of course not everyone wants a dildo that feels like a penis, but if you’re going for realism, cyberskin does fit the bill.
The main drawback of cyberskin is that it is not durable, and is very difficult to keep clean. Cyberskin tears easily (so it’s not recommended for harness use) and because it is very porous, it can be hard to get it clean.
Even though the Topco manufactured cyberskin does not contain phthalates it is still recommended that you use condoms on cyberskin to keep them clean.
Water based lubricant is recommended for use with cyberskin dildos.
Whether the dildo is metal, glass, or acrylic, the benefits of hard dildos include durability (as long as you don’t drop them), safety (because they are not porous they are easy to keep clean), and look. They also provide a different kind of intense stimulation, because they don’t bend when inserted in the body, and as such they are good for g-spot stimulation or pressure stimulation at any internal point.
The drawback to dildos made of hard materials is that they don’t have any give, and some people find them too intense. Also, glass and acrylic toys may break when dropped on hard surfaces.
In general hard dildos like these are not recommended for use in a harness.
You can use water based lubricants and silicone based lubricant with jelly rubber dildos, but you should never use oil based lubricants as they will damage the dildo.
- make sure your dildo has a wide flared base
- make sure your dildo is firm and flexible enough for use in a harness
- it is recommended to get a dildo that is at least five inches long
If you are using your dildo in a harness you don’t need to use the whole length, but a dildo that’s too short can be annoying in a harness. It is also better to get a firmer dildo for harness use, although metal, glass, and acrylic dildos are not recommended for harnesses. Silicone dildos are ideal for harness use, if they are in your price range.
- no seams
- no sharp edges or corners
- a wide flared base to prevent it from slipping into the rectum
Dildos tend to be made with vaginal penetration in mind, but providing your dildo has the above design features, it is likely also safe for anal penetration.
If you are buying a dildo that you want to use for both anal and vaginal penetration, you’ll need to use condoms on your dildo, or buy a silicone dildo and be sure to boil it in water between the time that it is used vaginally and anally.
Anal dildos tend to be smaller, and start small at the tip getting gradually larger. But as long as your toy has a flared base and is smooth, you should be able to use it anally, even if it isn’t packaged as an anal dildo.
Double ended dildos are never the perfect toy you want them to be, and the best way to describe them is that they require some sense of humor. They can be fun, but there are usually some awkward rhythms that need to be addressed. Double ended dildos can also be used for solo play where the other end is just a convenient handle rather than being used for penetration.
Some of the curved double ended dildos are designed for use in a harness, where they will provide penetration for the person wearing the harness and for the person on the “receiving” end.
Some dildos look like realistic penises, some look like animals or goddesses, or ice cream cones. Dildos can be shaped for g-spot stimulation, for prostate stimulation or completely straight.
If this is your first dildo you may want to start with something generic, or if you know you like a certain kind of stimulation, look for something that is recommended for that use.
If you are going to be using your dildo on someone else, remember to think about what they like, and you may want to avoid the more unusual shapes, as it might hinder the amount of movement you can have when using the dildo on a partner.
Don’t worry about getting a toy that is too long, you don’t need to use the entire length of the dildo. But if you get a dildo that’s too wide, it’s game over, possibly.
The size of dildo someone wants can change, not just over time, but even during sex play. As you become more aroused, and more relaxed, you may want something larger for penetration. For this reason a lot of people have more than one dildo, in different sizes. There are some inflatable dildos available, although most of them are of suspect quality.
Color may not matter to you, but if it does, the good news is that most dildos come in a range of colors. Silicone dildos will give you the biggest choice. Sometimes, for people who feel strange about using dildos as if they are a substitution, it makes it easier to get a dildo color that is completely unlike any human skin tone (think hot pink, or deep blue). Either way, this consideration is purely aesthetic as the color of the dildo has no impact on its function.
Penis rings are one of the few sex toys made specifically for men. Rings are the popular version of a medical device, called a constriction ring, and while none of the penis rings available in sex shops come with clinical testing or medical promises, they can be a functional and fun part of sex play for guys. By constricting the flow of blood out of the penis, rings can change the way erections feel, how long they last, and what orgasm and ejaculation feels like. These days many men buy rings just because they like the way they look and feel.- Start simple.
Flexible, adjustable rings are recommended for first timers. They are easier to put on and take off, and if you’re not sure how tight you want it, you can make it looser to begin with. If you’re in a store, ask to see the ring out of the package and feel it, even stretch it a bit, to get a sense of how much give it has. Some rings are very complicated, with many straps and buckles. Start simple and be sure you know how the ring is worn before you take it home. - Velcro and sliders or snaps and buckles.
Different penis rings use different methods to adjust the size. The benefit of snaps or buttons is that they won’t ever slip. But the drawback is that it is easy (and painful) to get pubic hair caught in the snaps. Velcro, or beads that slide, can slip, but they are easier to use and less likely to cause pain and the bad kind of screaming during sex. - Personal lubricant.
You can put some personal lubricant on the ring or on your penis before you put the ring on, and this can reduce any pinching of your skin or painful hair problems. If you’re using a penis ring that just goes on the shaft of the penis and you apply too much lube, it can make the ring slide off the penis more easily. - Inspecting the product.
Before you use your penis ring for the first time take it out of the package, wash it well, and then check it out carefully. Look for any tears, loose threads, or sharp edges. If there are any flaws return your penis ring before you use it. - Find time to explore.
Even though you may want to use the penis ring with a partner, it’s a good idea to try it on your own the first time. You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. It can also be tricky the first few times you put a penis ring on and take it off, and practicing may make you more comfortable when you start using it with a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy before getting down to business. - Start on your own.
If you’re using an adjustable ring, open it up all the way, slip it over the penis and behind the scrotum, and then tighten it. Once you’ve got the ring on, try masturbating with the ring on. This will help you get used to the feel and also find out how the ring feels with movement and friction. Masturbate all the way to orgasm and ejaculation. If you feel pain or discomfort remove the ring. If it feels good you’ll have a sense of what the ring will feel like when you use it with a partner. - Using solid penis rings.
Some solid rings are made to be put on before you get an erection. The larger rings can be slid down the base of the penis and the testicles and scrotum can gently be pulled through the ring so that it is around the base of the penis and behind the scrotum. As your erection grows the ring will constrict the skin and blood flow. If you get an erection and don’t like the way the ring feels it can be difficult to remove the ring until you lose your erection. This is why these rings are only recommended for people who know that they like the feel of penis rings. - Pulling on penis rings.
Penis rings can be fun as they give you something to hold on to, or grab on to, during sex play. Pulling or tugging on a penis ring can feel good for the wearer and can be a power play experience for the person doing the pulling. It’s safe to pull on rings, on the penis shaft, and even to pull down on the scrotum, as long as you’re careful not to squeeze or pinch too much on any one point. The key is to have a wide grasp on whatever bits you want to pull on, and then start gently and get feedback from the wearer. - Condoms and penis rings
If you’re using condoms while wearing a penis ring check to make sure the ring isn’t rubbing against any part of the condom such that it could tear the condom. The only concern with penis rings and condoms is that through friction the ring may tear the condom and increase the chances of it slipping off or tearing completely. If your penis ring is made of a hard material, or has snaps or studs, you need to be particularly careful. - Using a penis ring with a partner.
Most men want to use rings during sex play with a partner. Once you’re comfortable on your own, you can either use the ring during sex without making a big deal of it, or you can let your partner put the ring on you as part of sex play. Men have so few sexual accoutrements and penis rings give them the chance to accessorize their sex life in a way that can be fun and also highly pleasurable.
- Penis ring safety.
If you are using a penis ring and you feel pain or discomfort remove the ring immediately. You should not leave a penis ring on for extended periods of time. Most documentation suggests 30 minutes is as long as you should leave a ring on for in one session. Do not use homemade or makeshift penis rings (from elastic bands, nylon string, etc…) as they may be tricky to get off and may cut into your skin. Penis rings aren’t very expensive (basic ones start around $10) and it’s worth spending the money to avoid the need for scissors or a trip to the emergency room.
Anal beads, also known as “Thai beads,” are a series of beads either attached to a string or solid piece of soft rubber, designed for anal penetration. Sometimes the beads start small and get progressively larger as you get closer to the handle, other times they are the same size all the way through. At the handle end, there will be a large hoop or something else to allow the user to pull the beads out, and to prevent the entire string from slipping up into the rectum. Below you’ll find basic information on how to use anal beads.- Avoid beads that use nylon string.
Some anal beads are comprised of a series of hard plastic balls that are knotted onto a nylon string. These beads are of the lowest quality and aren’t recommended. The string is impossible to properly clean (this means that you should use a condom over the beads every time, which can change the feeling of the beads). Also, the knots in the string can be uncomfortable. There are many styles of inexpensive beads that are made of solid rubber and these are much easier to clean, will last longer and are more comfortable to use. - Lubricant required.
You always need to use a personal lubricant with anal beads. Water- based lubricants are a good choice for almost everyone. If you are using anal beads made of silicone do not use silicone- based lubricant4. Put a generous amount of lubricant on the beads (making sure to put lube on all of the beads, not just the ones at the tip). With your fingers you can also put some lubricant on the outside and just inside the anus. Thicker lubes are easier to use with anal beads as they don’t slide off the toy right away. You’ll probably need to replenish the lube at some point. - Condoms and anal beads.
Using a condom on anal beads is an easy way to keep them clean, make them last longer, and reduce the risk of transmitting any infections. If you are the only one using your anal beads a condom may not be necessary. If you think you’ll share your beads, you have to use a new condom each time you use the beads. If you’re using beads that are solid rubber and firm enough not to bend, using a condom won’t change the way the beads feel. - Inspect the product.
Before you use your anal beads for the first time, take them out of the package, wash them well, and then check them out carefully. Look for any seams, tears or sharp edges. If your anal beads are plastic, you can use an Emory board to file any seams down so they are smooth. If your anal beads are supposed to be made of a non-porous material, look for any holes or bits missing from the material. If there are any flaws, return your anal beads before you use them. - Start on your own.
Even if you’re planning on letting your partner use the anal beads with you, it’s a good idea to try them on your own the first time. You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy before getting down to business. - Turn yourself on first.
Before you try to use your anal beads for the first time, get yourself turned on however you would normally. If you’re feeling awkward or distracted, it can make penetration more difficult, so being relaxed and aroused can make your first time with anal beads go more smoothly. - How they work.
Inserting anal beads doesn’t create any intense pleasure, and having them inside you doesn’t usually feel either good or bad. The basic premise behind anal beads is that as you pull them out, and the beads pass along the two ringed sphincter muscles, then you feel a series of pleasurable sensations. It can be considered similar to having any other muscle massaged, although these are muscles that don’t get massaged very often. Just like with regular massage, some people will really enjoy this sensation and others won’t like it at all. - Start slow.
Once you’re feeling relaxed and ready to insert the beads, and you’ve got lots of lube on the beads, begin to slowly insert them one by one. Notice how this feels, and if you’re feeling any pain or discomfort either slow down, add more lube, or stop. Once all the beads are inserted you can choose to do other things and stimulate yourself in other ways. When you’re ready, begin to slowly pull the beads out. Eventually you may want to do this faster or slower, but the first time go nice and slow. Notice the feeling as each bead passes across the sphincter muscles. - Timing the use of anal beads.
In a lot of pornographic literature and some porn films, there is talk of anal beads being pulled out “at the point of orgasm” and this being a huge orgasmic experience. You can certainly try to do this, but it isn’t necessary and many people like to use anal beads at different times in sex play. Few people describe anal beads as their singularly greatest sexual experience, and they are not nearly as popular as other sex toys, but they can still be a fun and unique form of anal play and physical sensation. - Using anal beads with a partner.
Using anal beads on a partner can be a thrilling experience. It offers the opportunity for a lot of build up and teasing as well as adding an element of power play into your sex play. But because tissues in the anus and rectum are easier to tear, and this kind of play is considered higher risk, it’s important for you to have good communication with your partner before engaging in anal play, including using anal beads. If you can’t tell your partner what to do, when to start, stop, or slow down, you shouldn’t let them use anal beads on you.
- Don’t be fooled by porn.
Porn actors are expected to engage in a wide range of dangerous sex practices. The way that sex toys, including anal beads, are used in porn films is not generally recommended. Sometimes they are going slow and being safe, but the way the film is edited makes it appear as if all the action happens within a few minutes. The size of toys used in porn can also be misleading. If you’re new to anal play, be sure to start small and don’t worry if what you’re doing looks like it does in the movies. - Anal play safety for women.
Women need to be careful to avoid passing material or fluids from the anus and rectum to the vagina. Bacteria that live quite happily in the anus can cause havoc in the vagina. Because the orifices are relatively close together, you and/or your partner should use latex or non-latex gloves when engaging in any kind of anal play and remove the gloves before either of you touch the vulva or vagina.
Dildos are the ultimate do-it-your-own-way sex toy. Unlike a vibrator, a dildo doesn’t move on its own. In fact it doesn’t do anything you don’t make it do. On the plus side, you can make it do all sorts of things that human body parts can’t. You can also pick any shape and size that pleases. Many people would consider dildos to be self-explanatory. Manufacturers probably agree, since they never include an instruction manual. But if you’re curious about using a dildo, and you’re not sure where to start, the steps below offer the basics of how to use a dildo, and leave plenty of room for personal interpretation.- Choose wisely
Because dildos only do what you make them do and don’t bring any extra motion of their own, choosing the right dildo is key. Get something too big and no matter how excited or committed you are, it’s just not going to work. Pick a shape (or even color) that turns you off and you may find it hard to get into using a dildo. If you’re not sure about what size you want, think about other things you’ve used for penetration (fingers, penises, carefully washed vegetables, etc…) If you’re using a dildo because you’ve never had penetration sex, you should start with your fingers or a very small dildo. - Lubricant required.
You always need to use a personal lubricant with any sex toy for penetration. Water -based lubricants are good for almost everyone. (If you are using a dildo made of silicone, do not use silicone -based lubricant.) Put the lubricant on the dildo and use your fingers to put lube both outside and inside of your body. Thicker lubes are easier to use with dildos as they don’t slide off the toy right away. If you’re using a dildo for anal penetration you’ll probably need to replenish the lube at some point. - Condoms on dildos.
You should always use condoms on a dildo. Doing so will reduce the chance of you having any allergic reactions to the dildo material. It also makes clean up much easier. Condoms are also necessary if you plan on using your toy for anal and vaginal use or if you ever think you might share your dildo. If you currently have a sexually transmitted infection you should use a condom on your dildo as it is possible for you to re-infect yourself. However, if your dildo can be boiled in water (like some silicone dildos), then you don’t need to use a condom — providing you boil your dildo after each use. - Anal vs. vaginal dildos
All dildos can be used for vaginal penetration, but only some dildos are safe for anal penetration. Dildos that are safe for anal use will be smooth and seamless and will have a flared base to prevent them from slipping up into the rectum. As mentioned above, you shouldn’t use the same dildo in the vagina and the anus unless you are using condoms or can boil the toy in between uses. - Inspect your dildo.
Before you use your dildo for the first time, take it out of its package, wash it well, and then check it carefully. Look for any tears or sharp edges. If your dildo is supposed to be non-porous, look for any holes or bits missing in the body of the dildo. If there are any flaws, return your dildo before you use it. - Start on your own.
Even if you’re planning on using your dildo with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it out by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy before getting down to business. - Turn yourself on first.
Before you try to use your dildo for the first time, get yourself turned on however you would normally. If you’re feeling awkward or distracted it can make penetration more difficult, so being relaxed and aroused can make your first time with a dildo smoother. - Start slow.
Before you insert the dildo, see what it feels like when you rub it on the outside of your body. Use it to massage and stimulate your external genitalia first (either the vulva and labia or the anus). Think of it as if you’re teasing yourself, building up to the penetration. Once you begin to penetrate yourself with the dildo, be sure to start slow. Notice how it feels, and how it’s different than using your own or someone else’s body parts for penetration. - Play with rhythm and speed.
Once you’re comfortably using the dildo, you can experiment with different rhythms and speeds. The great thing about a dildo is that it will do exactly what you want it to, it doesn’t get tired or get a leg cramp, and you can stop and start whenever you like. Notice the difference between a slow and steady movement and a fast and erratic movement. See what you like and what works for you, and make some mental notes that you can share with partners in the future. - Explore your depths.
If you’re a woman, you can bump the end of the dildo against your cervix and this can be painful. If you’re feeling pain, stop what you’re doing and start slow again. You can adjust the length of you dildo simply by where on the shaft you are holding it. If you’re dildo is long enough it may allow for deeper penetration and this may be very pleasurable. Experiment with different angles of insertion and you may find some spots more pleasurable than others.
You can also experiment with different sex positions to change the feel of the penetration.
- Add clitoral stimulation.
If you’ve got a clitoris handy, you may find that adding clitoral stimulation while using a dildo really changes the way the penetration feels. Many women enjoy simultaneous penetration and clitoral stimulation, and while this may require some coordination, the effort is usually worth it. You can also use a vibrator for clitoral stimulation while using a dildo. - Using a dildo with a partner.
You can use your dildo with your partner in any number of ways. You can hold the dildo and use it on yourself. You and your partner can use it on each other (but if you’re both using it, you need to use a new condom for each person). You can also buy a harness or strap-on kit and you or your partner can wear the dildo and use it on each other. However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before adding a dildo into the mix.
- Different sizes for different moods.
If you like playing with dildos, you may find that the size you want to start off with is too small once you’ve been at it for 10-15 minutes. Some people find that the size they want changes based on their mood and how turned on they are. This is why some dildo lovers have collections. If you like dildos, try experimenting with different sizes. Just because you can’t pick the size of your lover doesn’t mean you can’t have a selection. - Double penetration.
This is a sex act that has become commonplace in porn films, and some people are curious about trying it. Double penetration refers to either having two things (dildos or penises) in one orifice or having being penetrated vaginally and anally at the same time. Even in the porn industry this act is considered to be very high-risk and is not recommended. But individuals or couples who are playing with dildos may be able to experiment safely with double penetration, as long as condoms and lubricant are used, and the sex play is slow and controlled by the partner being penetrated.
Few if any vibrators come with instruction manuals. On the one hand, you might think that no manual is necessary — after all shouldn’t you know how to use a vibrator? But if you’ve never used one, how exactly are you supposed to know how? Most people do manage to stumble their way to pleasure with a vibrator, but if you’re looking for a few helpful hints here is a beginner’s guide for women on how to use a vibrator. - Get to know your vibrator.
Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery case. Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws, return your vibrator before you use it. - Start on your own.
Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it our by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator). - Play with the lights on.
Not everyone will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a lover. You can achieve the same effect with touch, knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s going on can be a benefit for some. - Turn it off before you turn it on.
Get comfortable with the feel of the vibrator on your body. Run the vibe along your body without even turning it on. Notice how it feels. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. If the vibrator is a hard material this will probably feel nice. If the vibrator is a soft rubber and doesn’t feel smooth against your skin, try the above with your clothes on. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a gentle way of introducing your body to the vibrator. - Move your vibrator from the outside in.
Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Again, you can start with some clothes on if you like. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, don’t just jump to the main event. Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move the vibrator up your inner thigh, or in circles around your breasts and nipples. - Don’t rush: Explore every inch.
The great thing about vibrators is that they never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Most women use vibrators for clitoral stimulation and many women report that one side — or even one portion — of their clitoris responds to vibration more than another. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight (in fact some vibrators come with flashlights). Don’t rush, leaving a vibrator in place can allow it to establish sensation connections that previously weren’t there. - Play with the speed of the vibrator.
Most vibrators have multiple speed settings (or at least two settings). Always start on a low setting and work your way up. If a vibrator feels too strong at first you can put a towel between you and the vibrator, or just press it lightly against your body. You may find that on some areas a lower speed is all you need, and on others stronger is better. Some vibrators have “pulsation” settings, but you can also play with turning the strength up and down in rapid succession. - Play with pressure.
Experiment with applying different pressure. You may enjoy a lot of deep pressure with clitoral stimulation or you may want to hold a vibrator just slightly above the body. You can press your vibrator deep into your skin and massage the muscles while also feeling the stimulation of the motor. With most battery-powered vibrators, the more pressure you apply the lower the vibration feels. Also the stronger you hold your vibrator, the more vibration gets absorbed by your hand. Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down, and find what works for you. - On point or flat out.
Most vibrators will have a point or an edge. Try touching yourself with the finest point of the vibrator. Next put the widest or flattest part of your vibrator against your body. When you focus on one point, the vibrations can feel more intense than when the vibration is being dispersed around a wider area. You may find that the feel of the vibrator on your labia, or above your clitoris feels awesome. Because the clitoris extends inside the body, deep vibration in this area can feel great, and different than direct clitoral stimulation. - Using a vibrator for penetration.
Most women use vibrators for external stimulation, but as long as your vibrator is safe for penetration there’s no reason not to try it. A vibrator that is safe for penetration will be smooth, have no rough edges, and won’t absorb bodily fluids. In almost all cases. it’s recommended to put a condom over a vibrator if you’re using it for penetration. You should also use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on your vulva and just inside your vagina. - Exploring penetration with a vibrator.
Start slow with penetration and get yourself aroused by using the vibrator externally first. While far more nerve endings are outside the vagina than inside, lots of women enjoy penetration with a vibrator. Some women will use a vibrator to find and stimulate the g spot. It has also been hypothesized that nerve endings in the cervix respond to stimulation and pressure. Pressing the vibrator against the top of your vagina (such as pressing it towards your belly) may provide g spot stimulation or even indirect clitoral stimulation. - Using your vibrator with a partner.
You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe, using it on yourself to add stimulation during sex play with a partner. You can use the vibrator on your partner (or vice versa). You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but can add stimulation during sex. However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.
Rabbit vibrators describes a style of dual action vibrator designed for simultaneous vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation. Rabbit vibrators can differ widely in terms of quality, size, and function. What makes most rabbit vibrators unique, and it’s one of the things people love about them, are the rotating beads in the shaft of the toy. Below are some tips on how to play with rabbit vibrators taking into account the basic functions most rabbit vibrators share.- Prep your bunny.
Take your rabbit vibrator out of the package, put fresh batteries in and make sure it works properly. Once you’ve done that, wash the vibrator well before first use, taking care not to get water need the battery compartment or any openings where wires may be coming out. Always let your vibrator air dry before putting it away in a drawer or bag. - Use lube.
Apply a good quality personal lubricant to the shaft and rabbit part of the vibrator. Thicker lubricants are easier to use with sex toys as they stay put. The safest choice is a water based lubricant. Silicone lubricants can damage silicone toys, so only use one if you’re sure your rabbit vibrator is not made of silicone (most aren’t). - Try it out on your own first.
If you want to use your rabbit vibrator with a partner it’s still a good idea to try it out first on your own. Being alone lets you focus more on your own response and worry less about a partner. It also lets you figure out what you like so you can tell them if they want to use it on you. - Work from the outside in.
Most people need to warm themselves up a bit before diving into penetration, and you can start by turning on the rabbit motor first and seeing how that feels when pressed against your body externally. Notice how the body of the rabbit vibrates differently than the ears and how the different vibrations produce different sensations in you. - Ease into it or surprise yourself.
There’s no right way to use rabbit vibrators the first time. Some people like to insert the shaft without having the rotation on, using it as a dildo and getting comfortable and aroused with penetration without vibration. Once the vibrator is inserted comfortably you can turn on the rotation. Other people prefer to start with the rotation on slow and tease themselves as they begin penetration. Either way, starting with the switch at the lowest setting and working up is probably a good idea. Remember to apply more lube if the toy gets dry. - Get a grip.
You’ll notice that if you don’t hold the base of the vibrator while it’s inserted all that happens is that the part outside of your body twirls. This is something most sales clerks don’t point out; rabbit vibrators aren’t great for lazy sex toy users. To get the most of the rotation option you need to keep a relatively firm grasp on the toy at all times. - Moving your hand, not the vibrator.
Because rabbit vibrators move so much on their own, you can significantly change how stimulation feels simply by adjusting the angle that you’re holding the vibrator at in relation to your body. This will change where the shaft presses most inside the vagina. Some women have certain areas inside the vagina that are more pleasurable than others, and rabbit vibrators can be great to explore these areas. - Anal stimulation.
Rabbit vibrators are designed for vaginal penetration and in almost all cases aren’t effective for anal penetration at all. But you can use your rabbit vibrator for external stimulation of the anus and perineum. Depending on the flexibility and size of the rabbit you may be able to rotate the rabbit away from your clitoris so that it’s between your butt cheeks, and once turned on it will be pressing against the perineum and may reach the anus. If you want to use your rabbit vibrator like this just be sure to wash it very well before using it the other way.
- Doc Johnson Juli Ashton Anal Beginner Kit is enjoyable intro into the world of anal exploration. The collection consists of three butt plugs in graduated size and a multi-speed vibe. Juli Ashton “developed this kit to entice people to break the anal barrier.” Start with the small plug for the novice butt scout, medium is for the intermediate ass trooper and the large is for the anal adventurer. The flexible vibe can be used as a probe too! Don’t forget to lube up before you set out on your anal odyssey!